"Preacher says"

One of Ramblin' Willie's tales from the road. Read his last post here.
I was ramblin' up 77 when I made an emergency weightroom stop in Podunk North Carolina: population = tooth count. Eventually, I found the local gym and began tossing so many weights around, I was afraid I'd run out.

Of course, Redneck Randy rolled in and struck up a conversation about how he's going into cage fighting. The bad news: he can't afford a mouth piece. The good news: judging from his grill, it won't be necessary. In between discussing his cage fighting dreams and his prior job as a strip-club deejay, Randy decided to enter the political realm.

Randy asked me, "Willie, who you voted for in the eeelection? Barack or Hillary?"

I informed him that I'd voted for Obama. He replied,

"Well, preacher says ..."

Anytime a sentence starts with "preacher says", prepare yourself for complete enlightenment.

"Well, preacher said on Church on Sunday that the Book of Revelations speaks of a man. This man is Christ-like in his ways and is of Muslim deeeecent. He is from the island of Hawaii. He speaks change and is very popular with the common folk. This man is the f**kin' anti-Christ! Preacher says Barack Obama is the f**kin' anti-Christ! You gonna vote for the f**kin' anti-Christ, man? HELLLL NO YOU AIN'T!"

This prompted me to call he and preacher ridiculous. It also reminded me of all the white conservatives pissed off over what Obama's "preacher says." We have podunk rednecks taking Obama's preacher's words out of context, and their own preachers think it's necessary to convince their congregation that Obama is spearheading the rapture. This has lead me to create some new pro-Obama slogans:

"Vote Obama, piss off rednecks."

"Vote Obama, expedite the rapture and Jesus' return"

"Vote Obama, preacher needs material."

Feel free to include your own Pro-Obama slogans.