Ballantyne Big Dog wants you to come party

An Alternative to Uptown

Down in Ballantyne, when the weather warms up, it means two things:

1. More stay-at-home moms/trophy wives clog up the roads in their gas-guzzling SUVs.
2. The nightlife gets much better.

If you've grown tired of the uptown crowds (also known as DudeFest '08), it might be time to mosey on over to Ballantyne one weekend night. Forget what you hear about it being the wine and cheese scene, there's a few spots that will change your outlook.

This past weekend, I visited On the Roxx, which has now been open for about five months (the original one is up near Lake Norman). The first time I went (with Yup-Town's author, Mike G.), there was only a handful of people inside. At the time, the bartender promised more action once spring rolled around, and he was right. When my friends and I walked in, we were greeted by a bouncer and the sounds of Lil' Wayne's "Lollipop."

Definitely not what you'd expect from a Ballantyne spot. But also definitely welcomed. A diverse crowd of young and old, black and white kicked back with beers and specialty martinis and even made a mini-dance floor when the DJ spun "Cupid Shuffle." Almost made me want to join in. Almost. (Although I've been known to cut a rug on occasion, I've never really been into the whole "do what I say" dances. But they are fun to watch).

Across the street from On the Roxx lies Villa Antonio and Vesuvio, two other Ballantyne nightlife spots that have grown in stature in the last year. Again, these are places where it's not overflowing with people (as uptown can get), but still a decent crowd to party with. And there's less likelihood you'll be bumped into by some dolt with his collar flipped up.

And since this blog often ventures into the cougar discussion, yes, Ballantyne is still the area where you'll more often than not run into attractive older women—which isn't entirely a bad thing.

Come out for a night at these three spots (aka "The Cougar Crawl), and you'll be back.

Worst of the Worst

For the month of May, Charlotte magazine will be celebrating all that is best in the Queen City with its annual Best of the Best (BOB) issue. But what about everything that sucks around here?

Yup-Town is pleased to announce its own awards: the Worst of the Worst (WOW). The winners will be announced on Friday, May 9, the day after the BOB Banquet (or Kanye West concert).

Send in your nominations now to yuptown@gmail.com, along with an (optional) explanation of why he/she/it is the worst. I'll post the best rants over the next couple of weeks, and online voting commences on May 1.

Some sample categories (feel free to invent your own):

- Worst Blog
- Worst Professional Sports Team/Owner
- Worst Professional Athlete
- Worst Place to Live
- Worst co-Worker
- Worst Local TV Personality
- Worst Crazy Street Vagrant Personality
- Worst Car Dealership Commercials
- Worst Bar
- Worst Restaurant
- Worst Place to Shop
- Worst Thing About Charlotte

An updated list of categories will be maintained on the blog's sidebar.

And now for something completely different

My story in the May issue, which is about middle-school kids playing chess.

'The King lives!'

So screamed one of the six people experiencing Renelvis in the backyard of the NoDa's Rat's Nest late Friday night. For those who haven't had the pleasure, Renelvis is Charlotte's resident Philippino Elvis impersonator, and he is truly a master.

I'm not just saying that to be funny. He might miss notes or words from time to time, or laugh to himself during a particularly ridiculous segment of a performance, or collect tips in a cowboy boot that he returns (along with his cowboy hat) to the shelves inside the Rat's Nest (which is a consignment shop) afterward. But watching him shuffle around the small wooden stage singing along to his mix CD--and pulling the case from the belt of his homemade (and for sale) jumpsuit after each song to see what's next--you can't help but get the feeling that whatever he's trying to pull off, he's doing it, and beautifully.

At least I do. It's not everybody. One of the best parts of a Renelvis performance, in fact, is watching the people who don't get him. For at least four or five songs, there were only six of us out there in the Rat's Nest's yard, sitting in the dark in scattered lawn chairs and drinking free cans of beer. Some couldn't help but shout things like "The King lives" and "Rock on" or "Never stop, Renelvis, never stop," throwing in the occasional, and genuine, standing ovation. But from time to time a customer would begin to walk into the yard to see what was going on and stop dead in his tracks, frozen with an expression of disbelief and utter confusion, before collecting himself and running back into the store.

I've long believed that I can tell whether or not someone is "on the level" by the way he or she interacts with my dog. Same thing goes for Renelvis. One of my friends (you might have guessed that the audience consisted mostly of me and my friends), who had never been to the Rat's Nest before, had invited a co-worker he described as "a pretty big tool" to meet up with us.

The co-worker did a double-take when he walked through the door right as Renelvis moved down onto the grass for his rendition of "Always on My Mind." He seemed to contemplate fleeing, but instead cautiously made his way to the open chair. I could see his heart sink when he realized we were serious about sticking around until the end. He looked around for help, or at least reassurance that he wasn't crazy, and then spent the next half an hour staring uncomfortably at his Reeboks.

You can get an idea of what I'm talking about with the Renelvis videos on Youtube, but it's best to experience him in person, preferably with a free can of PBR from the Rat's Nest in hand. On my previous trip there during a Gallery Crawl last fall, it was Elvis Night, complete with fried peanut butter and banana sandwiches. The yard was packed. The house band took up the small stage, so Renelvis padded around on the grass in front, absolutely killing it.